


Last night

by Belensthoughts



Category: The Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Exes to Lovers, F/M, Infidelity, Past Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-19
Updated: 2021-01-18
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:07:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 15,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28165968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Belensthoughts/pseuds/Belensthoughts
Summary: Bonnie's going through a fight with her husband Jeremy, who's away on a worktrip and suddenly, as if summoned, the one that got away came to town and asked to meet her. Damon has tried to stay away, but he can't for long. He had to see her again.Inspired by the movie Last night, but only one couple.
Relationships: Bonnie Bennett/Damon Salvatore
Comments: 17
Kudos: 40





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I made this half Bonnie's pov and half Damon, so when it says "----Damon", that's when it changes.

Bonnie woke up on her bed, alone. Jeremy was long gone and she could feel a sense of dread in the pit of her stomach. Their fight was over, she might have overreacted, but maybe she didn't. Maybe Jeremy wasn’t actually that attracted to that brunette girl. Maybe they were just her insecurities talking. Maybe he was and he was going to leave her. Maybe she made the wrong choice. Maybe she should’ve stayed in Rome.

She peeled herself from the bed rather slowly, not feeling like making herself breakfast at all, so she brushed her teeth, put on the first thing she could find, a hat and went to the cafée close to her apartment. 

She indulged in a pastry with her coffee and walked out quickly, just wanting to go back to her house to sink deeper into her insecurities and fears, when someone stood in front of her, cutting her way.

She looked up, ready to fight, but instead of a mean stranger she found those blue eyes that still haunted her dreams, and that damn smirk.

“Damon?” she asked, surprised, pleased but also scared. How could he be here? Had she somehow summoned him?

“The one and only. How’s my favorite american doing?”

“I… What are you doing here?”

“Work. Actually have to be in a meeting in five, but I wanted to see you tonight. Do you have plans?”

“No. How did you know you could find me here?”

“Because I’ve been stalking you, Bon-bon. How about eight at the Falls Hotel?”

“Okay.” It could be because she was ambushed and because she’d missed him, but she couldn’t say no to a night with him without having to lie to his husband’s face. “How did you know I’d be here?”

“You know those Christmas cards you usually send? They have addresses in them, you know”

“Oh, right. You didn’t have to be a dick about it, though.”

He smiled and she was blinded for a second. God, she had forgotten what that smile did to her.

“I missed you, Bonnie Bennet. Alright. See you there, then.” he smirked and winked before turning around and she hated the way her stomach erupted in butterflies.

“Damon!” she yelled behind him and he turned, all bravado gone, curiosity and worry in his eyes.

“Yes?”

She opened her mouth, but what did she want to say? Are you really here? Is this real? “Nothing. See you tonight.” she ended up saying before she could embarrass herself further. He smiled and so did she and then they both walked away from each other, a feeling a little too familiar.

She got home and ate her breakfast without really focusing. Damon looked the same he did the last time they saw each other, three years ago. When his eyes twinkled and his smile could still make her knees go weak, and, to be honest, If they hadn’t been around other people, she might’ve done something crazy she would regret later, like kissing him. Like sleeping with him. Like going back to Rome with him.

She left her coffee unfinished and went to one of the many books she had on her bookcase wall. The one he gave her, when she told him she was travelling shortly after her Grams died. She sat on the floor and opened the book, taking out the hidden treasure she secured there: pictures of him.

Close ups, full bodied, pictures of him far away and up close. Alone and with friends. Smiling, mad, sad, handsome. Always handsome. His posture screamed italian, but his eyes and fast witty responses were heritage from his mom, an american that made him spend his summers with grandma in the rainy Seattle. Far from home.

She loved learning those things about him, how his accent was so good, how he wasn’t as nonchalant as every italian person she’d met and how his eyes were always looking for answers. He did have a flare for drama and he loved taking naps and drinking wine, so he was pretty italian as well.

She smiled, remembering his antics and how he had surprised her today. Always having to have a big entrance, like when she met him. All handsome and confident, walked up to her and asked her if she was Stefan’s friend. She thought that Stefan was playing a prank on her, getting a model to find her at the train station so she kept walking and he followed her and bickered with her until he put Stefan on the phone to clarify that he was his brother and that he couldn't make it because of work.

Suffice to say Damon’s ego got really big after she explained why she didn’t believe he was just a regular guy. Two more days of bickering and they were making out on an elevator.

He was the one that convinced her into going to photography. He saw that she wasn’t happy with the idea of going back to a medical degree, no matter how passionate she still felt about saving people, but she couldn’t stomach saving anyone when she couldn’t save her Grams, so she couldn’t. 

He motivated her, helped her move on from her self-hatred and insecurities. He was the reason she was doing freelance right now. 

And she loved that.

She kept the pictures to remember him and his influence, she thought she wouldn’t see him again, but he kept showing up, unexpectedly, breaking down the fantasy she had made in her head of a perfect life without him.

She had to edit a few pictures and even though it was an easy job, being as distracted as she was with his invitation, she ended up doing it in five hours instead of one and a half and she had to order take-out as lunch. 

Two hours before she had to leave her house to be on time, she jumped into the shower, did a mask while shaving her legs and did her hair, trying to manage the curls that Damon always said he loved. She put on make-up before leaving and for a moment felt a pang of guilt. She hadn’t done this to impress her husband in years, not even for the work party he had taken her the night before, when it took her ten minutes to get ready. 

But everyone in that party knew her and he had married her four years ago, when they had been together for five other years, only having broken up for five months while she was backpacking in Europe. 

He knew all of her, he had promised to love her in sickness and health, so she forgot to do these things sometimes. She finished putting on a gloss and made a mental note to wait for him with that new lingerie she got but never used. 

High heels on and a flowy navy dress on, she left to find Damon on the bar of the hotel.

He was waiting for her with a drink already ordered. 

“I remember you liking martinis” he said before kissing her cheek. 

“You remembered correctly.” she responded trying to look as composed as possible. 

“Would you like to sit on the sofa, over there?” he asked, pointing to a lonely sofa in the middle of the floor, casually touching her arm.

“Sure.”

They walked together and she sat before starting to drink and couldn’t help but to feel shy, he was looking at her with something that she didn’t want to discuss or think about.

“You look beautiful tonight, Bonnie.”

She looked down while smoothing down her dress, trying not to think too much about how much she missed him saying those words, “I tried to look better than I did in the morning, when you surprised me.”

“You looked beautiful then too.” She looked up, ready to joke about how she had huge dark circles and her hair was a mess but his eyes were honest, he even looked ready to fight her if she decided to disagree with her. She loved fighting him, but she didn’t want to fight him about her beauty. Her heart could only take so much. 

“You know, I feel like I willed you into being here” she said before she could stop herself. 

“Were you having dreams of me, witchy?” he asked, getting closer and she shook her head with a smile.

“No. But I was thinking of you this morning.”

He was silent for a while and she thought maybe she had gone too far, but then he smiled crookedly and she knew they were fine.

“I have to admit I have wet dreams of you monthly.”

She fought a smile but it won and wiggled his eyebrows to her, making her full on laugh. 

“Anyways. What are you doing here?”

“I came to talk to the people who want to publish my book here”

“Is it finished?”

“Of course it is.”

“Can I read it?”

“Depends. How much italian do you remember?” he asked with one of those devilish smiles.

“So you haven’t translated it yet?”

“No, they wanted to hire someone to do it, but I said I would. The bilingual perks are that I can do that so a translator doesn’t come and changes my words for ‘stylistic decisions’” he made air quotes and she could feel herself relaxing by his side.

“That’s why you’re here?”

“Yeah. And also I wanted to see you… and Ric.”

“Who’s Ric?”

“My friend, he made reservations for us in that new hip restaurant in Manhattan”

“Oh, so when are you seeing him?”

He looked down at his watch and smiled “In half an hour”

She couldn’t help but to feel disappointed. Was she just a pit stop before his main event of the night? He didn’t feel the same way she did about her, she knew that, but it still hurt.

“Oh.”

“Yeah, so we should get going”

“We?”

“Yes. You’re coming along.”

“Damon… he’s your friend. I don’t want to impose”

“C’mon. His new wife will be there, I don’t know her, he doesn’t know you, we’re even.”

“Damon, they’re both strangers to me.”

“Bonnie, I haven’t seen you in three years. It’s just dinner.” 

She wanted to fight, but he was right. She wanted to see him for more than fifteen minutes.

“Fine.”

They took a cab to the restaurant, she tried to sit away from him, feeling already dizzy with his smell and warmth, but he still made it a point to have his hand close to her. 

“How has the photography been going?”

“Good. I’m freelancing right now.”

“What about that project you had? With the Europe pictures? Did you ever do a showcase in a gallery?”

“No. It’s hard to do and they’re not that good.”

“They’re great Bonnie. You have an excellent eye for beauty, even in the most mundane of places.”

“Do you mean that because you’re in a lot of them?”

“Is that why you haven’t done an exhibition?”

She looked through the window. He was kind of right, she didn’t want to have to explain who he was and why he was in most of her Italy pictures. She also felt weirdly attached to them and didn’t want for people to criticize them.

“How’s Rome, by the way?”

“Good.”

“Are you seeing someone?” she asked, prepared to hear he was. She knew he couldn’t be single.

“Yes.” his answer was assertive, somewhat angry. A challenge in any other occasion, one she couldn’t get herself into. She could feel his eyes on her face but she didn’t face him, she kept looking outside. “Enjoying the view?” he asked sardonically. 

She could feel his smile and she could see the irony of the situation, she was mad because he was seeing someone, when she was married. She tried not to smile, but couldn’t. 

They got to the restaurant and his friend was already there. An older guy, pretty average looking with a beautiful blue eyed woman by his side.

“Damon, let me introduce you to my wife, Jo.” he said after hugging him.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you too! I’ve heard a lot about you” they sat after exchanging pleasantries and Bonnie could feel the anxiety creeping into her. And then Damon’s hand started drawing circles on her wrist, under the table.

“I didn’t know you and Katherine had broken up” said Ric smiling like it was nothing.

Damon stifled and put his napkin on his lap. “We haven’t.” 

Now Ric looked visibly confused and looked at her with curiosity beaming in his eyes, she could also see how Jo was squeezing his forearm.

“I’m Bonnie, a friend.”

“Huh…”

“Nice to meet you, Bonnie. How did the two of you meet?” asked Jo, probably trying to make things less awkward.

“Well, Stefan came to my college when he did that semester abroad, so we met there and then when I went backpacking in Europe I asked if he could borrow me his couch and he sent Damon to pick me up at the train station.”

“For the record, she thought I was a model” interrupted Damon with a smirk.

“For the record, I was sleep deprived”

Ric and Jo laughed and then the waiter came to take their order. 

“So, what do you do for a living?” asked Ric once the waiter left.

“I’m a photographer”, she could see how Damon opened his mouth and she turned to him quickly to interrupt whatever the hell he wanted to say, “yes, Damon, I made some pictures of you, doesn’t mean you’re actually a model.”

“Ouch. I wasn’t going to say that” he rolled his eyes and she knew that he was going to say something along those lines, “I just wanted to say that those were the best ones you’ve ever taken.”

“You haven’t even seen the pictures I’ve taken in the last three years.”

“Show me, then.”

She knew they were in a restaurant, with his friends who were looking at them, but she couldn’t help but to feel like those words meant something else. She tried to look unbothered.

“I don’t carry my pictures with me, Damon.”

“Maybe if they were at an exhibition.”

“Well, maybe tomorrow you could see them.”

“I’m leaving tomorrow, Bon-bon.” he said it lightly, like it didn’t bother him, but she could see how his eyes closed off. Maybe he wasn’t as unaffected as she thought.

And she couldn’t help but to feel sadness washing over her. He’d be gone as fast as he got here.

“Your loss.”

“I’m intrigued by your dynamic. I haven’t seen many people put Damon in his place.” commented Ric before drinking his glass of something dark, looking at her appreciatively. 

She didn’t realize it but her and Damon were definitely too close by now and his hand was on the back of her chair.

She was going to say something, but then someone touched her shoulder and she turned to see her friend Vicky. Damn it. She’d have to tell Jeremy about this.

“Hi Bonnie!” 

“Hi, Vicky.” she faked a smile and saw the brunette scan the people on the table with her, a puzzle look on her face.

“And Jeremy?”

“He’s on a work trip.” she explained, dreading the conversation she’d have at the table now.

“Oh, send him my best.” 

Vicky kissed her cheek and Bonnie tried to smile again, it wasn’t Vicky’s fault. It wasn’t Vivky’s fault.

She left and Bonnie turned slowly to her new acquaintances. Damon was silently looking at his plate.

“Who’s Jeremy?” asked Ric immediately.

“My husband.”

“Uh. Interesting.”

“How long have you been married?” asked Jo, trying to make up for his husband’s weirdness.

“Four years.”

“Oh. That's nice. And what does he do?”

“He’s in marketing.” she answered simply, “what do you guys do?” 

“I have a vineyard and Jo’s a teacher.”

“What do you teach?”

“Math.”

The plates came and she couldn’t be more relieved, the conversation was dying and she knew it had to do with her seeing Vicky.

“So, you’ve been friends for a while, I take it?” asked Bonnie, trying to lighten up the mood.

“We’re close to our twelve year anniversary” said Ric before toasting to Damon.

“We’ve been friends longer than your last marriage.” joked Damon.

“Just for a couple of years.” protested Ric with an easy smile.

They joked for a while and she could almost forget about the whole Vicky thing, but then Jeremy decided to call. 

“Sorry, I have to take this.” She excused herself before going outside and picking up. “Hey Jer.”

“Hey Bonnie, how’s it going?”

“Good, good. How is Philadelphia?”

“Chilly.” he said simply. She could feel something wrong with him, but she wasn’t sure if it wasn’t her own guilt tricking her.

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah, yeah. I just wanted to say goodnight before going to bed.”

“Okay. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.”

He hung up and she took a deep breath. She hated lying to Jeremy, but she also wanted to protect this secret.

She came back inside and they were remembering a nice time they had once, five years ago. She listened while sitting and then something clicked.

“Wait, was this the friend you went to see to Milan?” she asked Damon, who was smiling brightly.

“Yes! You could’ve met him if you just had come with me.”

“I had tickets to Venice already”

“I could’ve bought tickets for you for some other day.” he responded shrugging easily, his hand brushed her hair from her shoulder and she could still feel his fingers there for a minute after they left her.

“I didn’t want you to”

“Miss independent.” he mocked reaching for her chin, but she swatted his hand easily.

“Shut up” she rolled her eyes with a smile and he was smiling content back at her when she looked at him again.

“Hey, we saw Matt the other day” said Ric, bringing attention back to him.

“Who?”

“The guy that wanted to sign you last year? Remember? The guy you met at our loft on his girlfriend’s birthday?”

“Oh yeah. Weird, vanilla guy.”

“Yeah, he still asks us about you.”

“I must’ve made quite the impression.”

“Okay, who wants a cigarette?” asked Jo, taking a box from her purse.

“I do. And you, probably.” responded Damon already taking her hand to help her stand up.

“No, she doesn’t. She wants to keep me company.” said Ric looking directly at her.

“Ric…”

“No, it’s okay.” Bonnie assured Damon, smiling at him, “ I’ve been trying to quit, actually.” Damon looked a little bit taken aback, but let her hand go to go outside with Jo. “So, what did you want to talk about?”

“Are you sure you want to know? I might be known for crossing lines.”

“You’re still going to ask, aren’t you?”

“Yeah.” he smiled and so did she before taking a sip from her glass of wine, “does you husband know you’re here?”

“No.”

“Does he know about Damon?”

“No.”

“Have I crossed a line yet?”

“A little, but I did see that coming.”

“Look, I’m older. I’ve been married, I get it. But Damon’s a free spirit, he’s never been in a long serious relationship and he never will. How long have you known him?”

“Damon or my husband?”

“Both.”

“My husband, since I was ten. Damon, five years.”

“How long have you been with your husband?”

“Nine years. How long were you with your wife before you divorced?”

“Ten years. She’s actually dating Stefan now.”

“Is that why you guys ended it?”

“No, we just met each other young, didn’t know what we wanted, got married, had kids and then got sick of each other.”

“That’s rough.”

“That’s marriage, to the wrong person. Are you married to the right one?”

She thought she was, that’s why she married him in the first place, Damon and her didn’t work out, Jeremy proposed the moment she came back to America, it felt like the right call at the time. And she loved him, she truly did. 

She just had… a thing for Damon.

“I think so.”

“How long were you and Damon together?”

“We were never really together, or maybe we were, sometimes. It was messy.”

She recalled the many nights she spent by his side, the lazy morning kisses, walking around Italy with him, fighting, the nights without him, walking around Italy alone, the days with him, walking around Italy with him and Stefan.

“That’s why you didn’t marry him.”

“That and because I had to come back here. Italy was never meant to be permanent.”

“I see.”

Damon and Jo came back and he immediately put his arm behind her.

“Miss me?” he asked.

“Always” responded Ric without missing a bit.

“I know.”

They talked like nothing had happened and Bonnie felt less guilty, in a way. There was someone there that knew what it was like to be married and that knew Damon. He knew that they wouldn’t last. She knew that, they hadn’t already. As much as her heart ached when she saw him, she knew she’d made the right choice.

\---Damon

They’d made it through dinner better than fine, Bonnie and him were doing their typical back and forth and Ric and Jo were laughing and he really, really wanted to kiss her.

“So, how about we go to the party?” said Ric while they put on their coats to braze the cold.

“Do you want to, Bon-bon?”

“Yeah… oh no, wait. I had to walk a friend’s dog.” he could see the second she remembered, God, he had missed those expressive eyes.

“So you’re lying now to get out of a party?” asked Ric.

“No, if I didn’t want to go I’d tell you, I just forgot I had to walk Lucy.” He had missed her sassiness as well. 

“Okay, fine. Find us there.” Jo said easily before stopping a taxi to take them there.

Damon extended his arm for Bonnie to take and they walked towards her friend’s apartment. 

They were walking in silence, but he could feel Bonnie thinking, she was always thinking.

“What’s going on?”

“You were in New York last year?” she whispered. Her frown creasing and his eyes straight ahead.

“Yes.” he whispered back. 

“Why didn’t you contact me?” she asked, finally letting some emotion through her voice. She was hurt and so was he.

“I wasn’t alone.” he wasn’t whispering anymore, he wasn’t screaming either. 

She took a deep breath and kept looking ahead. That was Bonnie, always looking ahead.

He could see her brave front cracking though, her flared nostrils and as much as he was mad at her for reacting like that knowing she had a husband, he couldn’t help but to want her to feel better, validated. So he took her hand, the one that was resting on his forearm and kissed it. She finally looked at his eyes and smiled sadly. He did as well.

They walked the rest of the way in silence and then got into the building to walk the damn dog. 

“This is Tyler’s apartment. He’s in Philadelphia right now.” she said when they got inside.

“With your husband?”

“Yeah.”

She turned around and filled the dog’s bowl with water, so he took the liberty to snoop around. There were some pictures of this Tyler guy, there was one with her and her husband as well and he felt his stomach turn. 

“Why haven’t you done the exhibition, Bonnie?” he asked trying not to think of the fucking guy hugging her on the picture.

“Because I don’t think people will want to see it.”

“You’ll never know until you try.”

“I guess I like not knowing.”

“How?”

“I like not knowing if people will hate it or love it. I like the doubt of it.”

He looked at her, this beautiful, short, sassy and complicated woman, one he’d never understand and he wondered if that’s why he could never get her out of his head.

Maybe that’s what she liked about them as well, never knowing if they would’ve worked with more time.

“Why didn’t we work out, Bonnie?” he asked cutting the bullshit, he needed to know.

“There was the issue of geography and timing… we weren’t meant to, Damon.”

“How do you know? Because you’re so sure of your love for the idiot you're married to?”

“Damon, don’t speak like that of him.”

“Why not? I’m mad Bonnie. I’m mad because he gets to have you and I get to see you once every three years and then see pictures of you in his arms.” He knew he was yelling by the end of it, but God, was he mad. 

She was silent for a while, so he turned around and looked through the window, the city beneath him and he could listen to her coming closer. “You’ve ruined this kitchen for me, you know.”

“How?”

“Because I’m always here and this place was free of you. This city was free of you and now you’re here.” The last part sounded more like she didn’t mean to say out loud. He turned around and she was looking at him with sadness.

“Was I what you needed to be sure of him?” he asked, finally addressing the thing that kept him awake most nights.

“Of course not, Damon. I married him because I loved him and I… I loved you, too.”

“You did?” she had never said it.

“Of course I did. I spent most of my time with you, only actually travelling when you were busy, which was a lot.”

“I was finishing a book.” He walked towards her, mad again, because he did everything he could to make her stay.

“I know and I’m not putting the blame in you. Our timing just sucked.” He was close to her now, standing just centimeters away and he could see every emotion in her eyes, the sadness, guilt, fear, love. “I still replay you, you know” she whispered. “Most nights when I can’t sleep, when things are bad with him, when I feel like I need to escape again.”

“Then why don’t you?” he asked caressing her face.

“Because… I… Everything changes” she had her eyes closed, he could see her face crumbling and he wanted nothing more than to pull her in his arms, but he felt like this was important, “Everything always changes, but this?” she gestured between them and then put her hand in her heart, “I saw you this morning and… my heart…” she gestured a fast beating on her chest and then finally opened her eyes, “I’m afraid of not feeling like this someday. I’m afraid of knowing for sure it won’t work out with you” she finally whispered.

He finally gave in and put his forehead on hers, breathing her in and wishing he could stay like this forever. In moments like this, with her so close, Katherine didn’t exist, her husband didn’t either, they lived like this, never apart. 

He had tried to play it cool in front of Ric, hell even in front of her at first, but being alone, being so close, he just couldn’t reign it in. She was all he thought about when he was trying to fall asleep.

“I’m sorry” he whispered, he didn’t know why, but he was.

“I should go walk Lucy” she said pulling back, her eyes glassy and her nose reddened, he nodded and stared at her walking away, again.

She went out and he just smoked a cigarette by the window, wishing things could be simpler. When he met her he knew she was spunky and beautiful and freaking hot. He never imagined he’d be chasing her in other women for years to come. He never thought she’d haunt him for so long, even when they weren’t even talking. He tried to stay away for three years and then he sees her and he goes back to square one. How is that possible?

He could see her approaching again, so he went downstairs. He needed to stop whining and face his reality, she was out of reach.

He got to her and she extended her palm, so he took it. The most shy and beautiful smile appeared on her face and he smiled too.

“What?”

“The keys, Damon.”

“I thought you had them.”

“I left them on the counter”

They looked at each other and then the door. They were locked out. Lucy looked at them and Bonnie just shrugged.

“Would Ric be mad if we went to the party with her?”

“Nah, he’s had worst.” he smiled and she hugged him. He took a deep breath because it felt like something loosen in his chest. “You smell the same” he whispered.

“So do you.”

They took a cab with the dog this time and got to the party with her. 

“You were telling the truth!” said Ric instead of hello, he was a bit drunk already.

“I don’t lie” she responded, Ric looked at her funny and she rolled her eyes, “I only omit information.”

“Yeah, keep telling yourself those are different.”

“Well Ric, I’ve been standing here and you haven’t given me a drink. I consider that way worse than omitting information.”

Ric snorted and turned around, “You would.”

Bonnie smiled at him and turned to look for Jo, so Damon went on and sat on a sofa, waiting for Ric.

“Thanks, man,”

“You look like you need it.”

Understatement of the year.

“Yeah.”

“Is she the girl Stefan told me about? When you broke up with Rose?”

Damon looked at his friend, he seemed serious but he had no way of knowing who Stefan told him about, even though he was pretty sure it was Bonnie, it was always Bonnie.

“Could be.”

“Man, I liked Rose. But I like her more. She’s witty, funny, beautiful and knows how to put you in your place, a dream girl.”

“Yeah.” Didn’t he know that already.

“But she’s married.” Way to rub salt on the wound.

“I know.”

“No, you don’t. You’ve never been married. You will never be able to take away the years she’s been with him, the good and the bad. Let me guess, you guys have been together for what? Less than a hundred days?”

Again, way to rub salt on the wound.

“What does that have to do with anything?”

“Everything. You don’t really know each other, you’re still in the honeymoon phase, even though it’s been cut short. Believe me, the moment you try to take her away from her husband you’re going to lose her.”

Damon looked at her, talking with Jo, smiling with Lucy at her feet and he knew Ric was right. If Bonnie wanted to be with him, she would. He couldn’t take away her marriage, even if he tried. 

He drank two more glasses of bourbon before he got the courage to go close to her again.

“Hi” he said while putting his hand on the small of her back.

“Hi” she responded with a sweet smile.

“Do you want to see something cool?”

“Okay”

He didn’t know that she’d accept so fast, but he wasn’t complaining, so he took her hand and guided her to the elevator. 

He brought her to the roof, where they could see the lights of the city and feel the cold air. 

“I like coming up here, sober up, try to look for stars.”

“It’s really hard to see stars in New York, but the view is beautiful.”

He was not the kind of cheesy guy that would say ‘it is’ looking straight to her, but maybe he was when he was drunk, because he almost did.

Instead, he started rubbing her arms, up and down.

“You just touch me whenever you feel like it.” she complained, with a smile on her face.

“I don’t touch you even a fraction of how much I want to.”

Her eyes softened and she let go of the leash to put her arms around him, he pulled her close and somehow they started slow dancing. He was full of clichés today and he wasn’t even sorry.

She pulled away and looked at him, so closely that he almost leaned in to kiss her, but Ric’s words were still in his mind. He didn’t want to push her closer to that asshole.

He pulled away and they walked back to the elevator. The night was ending, he could feel it, his time was running short again.

They were alone, well, with a dog, but mostly alone again on an elevator and he could tell she was remembering their first kiss as well, desperate, passionate, in the elevator of his apartment building. And he knew Ric was right, but damn it, he really wanted to kiss her again. So he grabbed her arm, pulled her close and kissed her with all he had.

She kissed him back, with the same enthusiasm, pulling him closer, as humanly possible and they kissed until they couldn’t breath anymore, but then she pulled back and he kissed her again, because he didn’t want to ever live without kissing her and he knew that he would have to. 

The elevator doors opened and they pulled back, but he took her hand and guided her towards his hotel. Maybe he couldn’t take her away from him but he was going to be with her for as long as he could.

They walked hand in hand, with the dog until they got to his hotel and the moment they got to his room she took her shoes off.

“I needed that.” she said flopping to the sofa in front of his bed. 

“Give me some room” he teased and she moved to let him sit, but then he patted his leg and she took her sign to put her legs on top of his. He started massaging her feet and she smiled. 

“Why did you stop emailing me?” she asked him, suddenly sad again.

“Because I was trying to forget you.”

“I was trying too, but then every now and then I’d get the impulse of writing. Ask you how’s the book coming, are you coming to Seattle this year, is Stefan okay, do you guys still live together.”

“We don’t”

“Why didn’t you respond?” she repeated more angry.

“Because everytime you told me about you and your husband it hurt.”

She stopped looking at him with anger and then looked at her hands. “You know I was upset this morning about Jeremy, he’s in Philadelphia with a woman I’m sure he’s attracted to.”

“What do you mean?”

“They work together and I could see it in the way they looked at each other last night.”

“Did he deny it?”

“No.”

“Why are you telling me this, Bonnie?”

“Because I accused him of wanting to cheat on me with her and tonight I’m here with you. And we kissed.”

He could see she was sad, probably beating herself up for it and he really didn’t want for her to feel guilty, when he was the one that started everything.

“It’s not your fault I kissed you, plus, he could be cheating on you right now.”

“No, he’s not. I was just projecting.”

She sighed and stood up, sat on the bed, probably to put some distance between themselves and Damon knew that Ric was right. He’d screwed up.

“Bonnie…”

“You know I’ve never told him about you. Even when I’ve felt like I should.”

“And when is that?” he asked, humouring her.

“When we’re drunk, or after a fight or in the middle of one. You know, when things slip up, you never do.”

“Because he’d be mad at you?”

“No, he wouldn’t have a right to be. I gave you up.”

He looked at her, so honest, hugging her legs, eyes earnest. Fuck, he loved her.

So he took his shoes off and walked towards the bed.

“Alright, we have a couple of hours before I have to go. Can we please just… be together?”

“Okay”

He laid down and she laid down by his side, “come here” he whispered, pulling her to his chest and they stayed there, embracing each other.

Too soon, his alarm went off and they walked downstairs, not holding hands this time. His taxi was outside and she looked absolutely beautiful in the morning light.

“Do you want me to drop you off?”

“No, I want to walk. She needs it and so do I.” She tried to smile but he knew it was fake and he caressed her cheek, trying to commit to memory this moment. “What I wouldn’t give to grow tired of you.” she whispered. He knew the feeling all too well.

“You and me both, Bon-bon.” he whispered back and the car was waiting, but he couldn’t take his eyes off her.

“Let’s not make a big deal out of this.” she asked with confidence in her voice but when he didn’t respond, she begged, “please.”

And that was all it took for him to crumble, his eyes were glassy and he pulled her in for a hug, she hugged him tightly too and they stayed there for a few moments before she pulled back and kissed his face, but he put his hands on her face and gently pulled her in for a kiss, a sweet, passionate last kiss before he went on to live without her again. And when they stopped kissing he kissed her forehead and her temple and her lips one more time because he couldn’t help himself.

And then he walked away because if he didn’t then he never would and she stayed outside the hotel while the car moved, looking at him through the window and his tears finally spilled.

Once in the airport he couldn’t take her out of his mind, so he opened his laptop and looked for the secret file he had, where the pictures of her lived.

On top of his bed with that white sundress, in front of a fontana in Florence, in a park near his home, on his home with Stefan. He spilled more tears, but this time was quick to wipe them and then decided to connect his phone to add a couple more. One he took of her while they were waiting for the first taxi and another one, in the party with the dog at her feet, because as much as it hurt him, he really, really wanted to remember last night. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! I'm glad many people liked it and still care about Bamon as much as I do. This is the last chapter of this story and it's a bit different than the first one, in this one there's a change in pov everytime there's a line, instead of half and half.  
> Also, the first one was just one night, this one takes space in a few months. You'll see.

Bonnie arrived home and she had to take off the dress that now belonged to Damon’s night. She took off her shoes and put on a robe and everything felt different. For the first time in her marriage she had cheated on her husband, physically, that is, she knew she was already emotionally cheating. It did feel like crossing a line you can’t go back to and it scared her. It also scared her how much she already missed Damon. How much she wished they could have a real chance.

She left Lucy in the living room and went to the balcony to have a cigarette. She had cried almost all the way home and she still felt like crying, but something about being in this house felt like something forbidden, like she couldn’t do more than yearn for him in this house. This house belonged to Jeremy and tears only spilt because of him.

She was still reliving the night, mid-cigarette when Jeremy appeared at the door. He looked odd, but she didn’t have the strength to face him just yet.

“Jer?”

“Hi, Bon.” he smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes and she could tell that something was bothering him but she also needed to make an excuse for being up at seven am. “Have you been crying, Bon?”

“I...yeah” she responded truthfully, because she couldn’t really fake that, hopefully he’d think it had something to do with their fight and nothing else, because even though she knew she fucked up, she still wanted to protect Damon’s existence. “Why are you here so early?”

“The meeting ended early”

“I thought it was today”

“No, they moved it to yesterday.” Something was off, she could feel it, but it was out of her reach. “Would you like to go grab breakfast at the little cafe down stairs?” The one where Damon found her. “I bet they have those pastries you like so much.”

One of those was still half eaten in the kitchen.

“Sure” her heart was beating fast, she wasn’t ready for this, not yet. “Let me go get dressed.”

“Hey” he pulled her softly from her elbow and hugged her, hopefully she didn’t smell like Damon’s perfume, even though she wanted the smell to last on her skin, but she didn’t want her husband to find out. God, this was getting out of hand, she had never lied to Jeremy like this before.

He still felt comfortable and vaguely like home. She needed to go back to her happy and comfortable place, Damon was amazing but they also always fought, there was fire in between them and she just wanted someone who could hold her at night and never leave, that was it. Fire was unreliable, Jeremy wasn’t.

“How was Philadelphia?”

“Good” he said, pulling away and his eyes were trained behind her, on the floor. Her shoes. Shit. His eyes came back to her, a question already forming in his mouth, but she was quicker.

“I went out to have dinner with an old friend last night.” That was, at least partially true.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“You seemed odd on the phone, I didn’t want to give you more to worry about. I know you worry about me around the city alone at night.”

“Yeah…” she could tell he was debating something in his mind and she could finally regain some of her cloudy state of mind.

“Are you sure everything’s alright?”

“I… please don’t be mad.” Bonnie distanced herself from him, already a pit on her stomach forming. Could he and Anna…?

“Did something happen with Anna?”

He stayed silent for a while, looking at the floor for a long while and then, his eyes were finally on hers again and she knew.

“You said you’d forgive me.” he whispered, eyes scared. She did, when they were fighting, she told him she would forgive him if he ever did something like that, obviously because she was feeling guilty about emotionally cheating for the last five years of their relationship, but she never thought he’d take her word on it. 

“I…” she put her weight on the back of the couch, behind her and all her mind was thinking was how hypocritical it would be of her to be mad, but also, how could he do that to her?

“Don’t look at me like that, I know you have secrets too, Bonnie. Sometimes you cry out of nowhere, when we fight your eyes always close off and I know you don’t want me to know, but I know that you’re hiding something from me. You wore heels to see this old friend of yours, it looks like you put on make-up, that’s something you never do for me anymore.”

“Don’t put this one on me, I’ve never slept with anyone while being with you.”

“I… Bon…”

“So you did sleep with her? It wasn’t just a kiss?” she could feel her heart break, for her, for their relationship, for Damon. How could she be so blind? She had dinner with Damon and kissed him a few times and she felt guilty for that while Jeremy was fucking Anna? Apparently he wasn’t as reliable as she thought. 

“I just… we were drunk, you said you’d forgive me and I was too tempted… I’m sorry”

“How many times?”

“What?”

“How many times did you fuck her?”

“Bonnie!” his face went red and he made a disgusted face, but he must’ve liked it, he was deflecting.

“Oh, I’m sorry. Is this love? Do you love her? Did you make love to her?”

“Of course not.”

“Then how many times did you fuck her?”

He opened and closed his hands at his sides, then put them on his hips, opened and closed his mouth and then put his hands on his pockets.

“Twice.” he finally whispered and Bonnie stormed into the room and took out a suitcase to throw clothes on it. “Bonnie, don’t do this. You said…”

“I know what I said! But I thought you’d respect me more than that!” she knew she was being hypocritical, but she hadn’t fucked Damon twice, she could’ve and they’d be tied... But then why stay together?

“Please, don’t leave. Let’s talk about this.”

“About what, Jeremy? You fucked your co-worker, who you’re going to see at work tomorrow, and the day after and the day after that. How will I be able to trust you?”

“How I trusted you after you left for Europe, without a warning and just left a flimsy note breaking up with me and saying you had to do that.”

She stopped. All the emotions crushing over her and her tears started falling freely and suddenly she didn’t have the strength to hide everything anymore. 

“I fell in love in Europe, Jeremy. But I came back and you asked me to marry you and I said yes. I gave up a chance to be with someone else for you and this is what I get in return?”

“Oh, so you’ve been in love with someone else this entire time?” he screamed now, his nostrils were flared up and she could see she hurt him. Good.

“No, but I could’ve gone back. I could’ve run away forever, I could’ve stayed there. I could’ve told you no. I gave… all of that up, for you.”

“I didn’t force you to, Bonnie. That’s not my fault, you can’t tell me it’s my fault that we got married.”

“No it’s not. But it’s your fault that you cheated on me.”

He pulled at his hair frustrated and then sat on the bed.

“So this is it? Nine years together and one night destroys us.”

You did, she wanted to say, but it wouldn’t be honest. Maybe if Damon hadn’t been there the night before, she wouldn’t be so willing to up and leave Jeremy. Maybe if she had spent the night home, she’d be crying now and be able to forgive him. Yesterday Bonnie would’ve.

But she couldn’t do it now.

“I’m going to need time. I don’t feel like I can trust you.”

“That’s fair. You’ve been lying to me too.”

“I wasn’t lying.”

“Just keeping information from me.”

She stayed quiet, there was nothing left to say. She needed time to see if she could forgive him, to see if she wanted to. 

A month later and Bonnie was in their room again, putting her stuff in boxes to put in her new place. Jeremy had tried to woo her back, she had gone to a hotel for a week and he’d go by and bring her coffee, chocolate and flowers. They tried going on a date, because she wanted to at least give her marriage a try. They dated for two weeks, kissed and slept together even but everything felt fake.

She couldn’t stop feeling like the love she had for him was too far away for her to reach. Every time he kissed her it felt like kissing a stranger, when he held her she could almost feel the comfortable and homey feel she used to get, but it wasn’t really there. It was like her feelings were on the other side of a wall that she couldn’t pass through and no matter how much she tried, there was no way of getting them back.

The wall was between them as well, they couldn’t talk as easily as before, both still hurt and not trusting each other. Even though they tried, every date and every day it felt like there was more distance between them, like the wall grew bigger and bigger and their feelings were getting smaller and smaller. Each day more difficult to grasp.

Tyler rented her a room in his apartment, it was nice of him but honestly she needed it, because she wasn’t sure if she could rent a whole apartment in New York by herself. Not with photography money anyway.

Fucking Damon. She’d be a doctor if it wasn’t for him and then she’d have more money. And maybe she would still be happily married.

Her new room was nice, but small. Jeremy bought some of the stuff she had brought home, so that he wouldn’t have to replace the sofa and the washing machine and since she didn’t have any space for them, it worked out for both of them. They were thinking about having some kind of friendship in the future, but it was still too raw for that.

She’d thought about sending an e-mail to Damon. A letter, maybe, but she was scared. She had told him she wanted the maybe and she had also rejected him in favor of her unfaithful (now ex) husband. He also had a girlfriend he was unfaithful to, with her. They were already a mess and she didn’t know how something like that could brew a good relationship.

Would they work together? Would she suffer another disappointment by jumping head first into something with Damon? Would Damon leave the girl he was seeing for her?

* * *

A month after he left New York and he could still feel himself just going through the motions. Numbing himself with alcohol and writing as much as he could to try and take his feelings out of his heart. Maybe today it would be the day he’d be free from Bonnie.

Maybe if he wrote everything he disliked about her, he would be successful.

But then he couldn’t help but point out that he didn’t know her enough to know that much. That he didn’t know how she was when she was stressed, or sad or swamped with job stuff. He didn’t know what it was like to see her and be mad at her for leaving her stuff all over his house or being pissed at her for not liking his friends and their spontaneous trips. He didn’t know how she’d handle his binge-writing. Or his grumpy days. Or the anniversary of his parents’ death. 

And still, he felt like she’d be still perfect in his eyes, even if he hated her sometimes. Maybe Ric was right and he should just stay with a girl like Katherine, who could take his disappearances because she did so as well. Someone who could party with him and then leave him alone. Not nagging or needing him. 

Maybe he just needed to let her go.

“You’re still here?”

Damon turned around, surprised that someone was in his writing room so late, especially Stefan. He had been joined by the hip with Caroline, he should be in bed with her.

“What are you doing here?”

“I’m worried about you, brother”

“Couldn’t this wait until tomorrow?”

“What time do you think it is?”

Damon frowned deeper. What time was it? He thought it was the middle of the night, but if his baby brother was asking that, it was probably a different time. He looked at the clock in the wall, his phone hadn’t been charged in days, so he kept it old school in his studio.

“It’s ten in the morning?”

“Yes and you’d know that if you’d let some light get into the house.”

Stefan walked around the room, putting up his black out curtains, letting the sun get in and making his eyes hurt. His head also, he couldn’t remember when was the last time something other than alcohol entered his system.

“I’ve been working”

“You’ve been sullenly writing. That’s not the same.”

“That’s what writers do, brother.”

“Did you tell her about your feelings?”

“She’s married, Stefan. Unless she gets a divorce she’s not listening to things like that. She’d rather wonder forever if things would’ve worked out in another life instead of dumping the idiot.”

“You don’t even know if he’s an idiot.”

“He has her and is still attracted to other women, he’s in fact an idiot.”

“That’s human, Damon.”

“I wouldn’t-”

“You don’t know that. You were never together in the first place. You were never committed to her enough for that and then you lost her and now you’ll miss her forever. All because you didn’t have the balls to actually date her.”

“Shut up.”

“Let her go, brother. This isn’t healthy. You can’t live on borbon and wine for weeks every time you see her, or a picture of her or miss her.”

“I always miss her.”

“No you don’t. You wouldn’t be with other women if that was the case, you’d fight for her. You would’ve gone to New York and beg for her to come back. Hell, maybe you would’ve ended up living there, to be with her.”

“You know why I didn’t.”

“Does she?”

He stayed silent, his brother knew when to push and if he was doing it now, maybe it was because he truly should move on. But how?

“Why aren’t you cooking me breakfast?” he asked, trying to lighten the mood. It was too depressing, even for him.

“Because you need to shower first, you reek.”

He stood up and Stefan put his hand on his shoulder, squeezing it. An olive branch.

“Thanks brother.”

“You’re welcome. Now, let’s have some food so you become you again.”

After that day, he stopped writing about Bonnie and his sorrow and started translating his book. He needed to do that and he needed to move on. Three weeks later it was done and he sent it to the publishing firm in New York. They’d work with it and he’d probably had to travel to the US in january, after the holidays. He was dreading it already, even when there was still at least a month for the day to come. 

But he didn’t want to go to New York again and have the temptation of seeing her. He didn’t want to go and feel utterly hopeless again about the future he and Bonnie could’ve had. 

He decided he needed some fresh air so he called Katherine to go get a beer somewhere and of course she was down. They hadn’t seen each other in a couple of weeks, but that’s how they liked it. That’s how they’d managed to be together for a year and a half now. 

“So you finally have time for me” she said instead of hello. 

“Says the one that has been in Paris for the last week.”

“Oh, like you couldn’t have gone there.”

“I hate Paris.”

“You hate everything that has to do with romance.” she said rolling her eyes and then they ordered.

“What did you do there?”

“Party. Shop. Drink. Repeat.” she smiled and drank a lot of her beer in one go and he wished he was in the mood for that. 

“Sounds like fun.”

“Much more than hiding away in an office.”

“Why are you like this today?”

“Because I’m bored of this Damon. I knew you were older than me and sometimes it’d be hard to catch up but this is ridiculous. Almost two months without a party, I’m lucky you called me a few times for sex but that’s it. I want more.”

“You want romance?”

“Hell no. I want to have fun, to travel, to stay up all night without you getting cranky. I’m getting tired of you.”

“What a nice way of saying you want to break up.”

“Break what up, Damon? We aren’t really together, are we? This is… I don’t know what it is but it isn’t a relationship. I like my space but this feels like we’re less than fuckbuddys at this point. I’m bored.”

“Fine. Whatever.” he drank all of his beer and stood up to leave, but she was smiling at him, like she caught him in something. “What?”

“Why didn’t you break this up when it’s so easy for you to give it up?”

“Because I wanted easy sex”

“Because I’m doing you a favor. You were never going to leave the safety of this arrangement. You’re scared of being truly alone…”

“What, you’re my shrink now?”

“Finally!” she laughed standing up herself, “Some emotion from Damon Salvatore! Bravo”

“You’re crazy” he turned around and left the bar but she followed him.

“You’re finally showing emotion because I said the truth.”

“Will you just leave me alone, Katherine? I don’t need this shit.” He started walking away but her voice stopped him.

“No, you just need her.” she yelled before walking slowly towards him. ”The girl in the pictures, the secret folder you have. The girl you saw in New York.”

“What… How?”

“I’m not stupid. I also don’t care, so don’t look at me like that. I don’t actually have feelings for you, I just feel sorry for you.”

“Don’t. I’m letting her go, I’m deleting those pictures.”

“Haven’t you done that already? You leave them in the recycle bin, for a few days, sometimes a week and then, they’re back in the folder.”

“I didn’t realize you knew so much.”

“You don’t realize a lot. I slept with Stefan once and you didn’t know.”

“He told me, it was a long time ago and we weren’t serious.”

“We were never serious, if he hadn’t fallen for that blonde, we might’ve done it again and you wouldn't have minded because you don’t care about me. You just like telling people you have a girlfriend so they don’t think you’re not over her.”

“Why are you telling me all of this? Why now?”

“Because I’m bored, I told you. I bet that Stefan and everyone else told you to let her go, didn’t they? I take your silence as a yes. But that’s not what you should do.”

“What do you mean?”

“Damon, you’re like this because you never really tried with her. You have commitment issues, always have and they made you lose her and now you regret it but you can’t do much about it because she’s married, boohoo. Just suck it up, tell her how you really fell, tell her everything and then if it doesn’t work out you’ll be able to move on. You need closure, Damon. “

“I didn’t realize you knew so much about these things.”

“Like I said, you didn’t realize a lot. Probably because you were too busy thinking of her and feeling sorry for yourself instead of fucking doing something.”

“Ouch”

“Yeah. I’m done here, have fun in New York.” she winked at him and walked away, into the bar again. 

He sighed and walked back home, she was right. Stefan came one day apologizing about sleeping with Katherine while being drunk and he forgave him quickly, because he didn’t care about it. He didn’t really care about her, it was just a distraction, something to help him forget about the only woman he’d ever loved. 

But he didn’t know what to do now. He felt like Stefan and Ric were right, it was time to move on, they weren’t meant to be. Bonnie was just out of reach. And then, Katherine was right too, he couldn’t let her go because they never really tried it. They never had a chance and he wanted a chance, he wanted to be with her, for real, see her bad side, see her at her worst and then see her at her best. He couldn’t move on until that happened, but that wasn’t up to him, she had to have a saying in it and she was married. He was trapped in this loop, forever.

He got home, decided to have something strong, to numb himself once again and start writing, because that’s the only thing that could take away some of his pain. 

He opened his mail, just in case something had come up with his book, but something else was waiting for him, a fucking christmas card.

Bonnie loved doing this to him, reminding him that she was there, thinking of him but out of his reach. She even sent her address along with it, like a regular christmas card. 

He was a masochist, though, so he opened it.

“Merry Christmas! I hope you have an amazing time this holiday, with the people you love around you and that this time only brings peace and joy. 

Sending you much love!

Bonnie Bennet.”

How weird. Bonnie always signed with Bonnie Gilbert, could it be?

“P.D.: I wanted you to be the first to know, so this card may be finding you sooner than it usually would, but I’m having a showcase in the Mystic Falls Gallery, on the 27th at 8 pm. I know you’d rather spend your New Year with your loved ones, but maybe you’d like to come spend it here? I’ll love to see you there. Much love, your Bon-bon.”

What? Was she? Could she? His head was spinning, his Bon-bon? Was she single again? Could he have his chance?

* * *

Bonnie was passing on her room, she had just sent Damon a christmas card inviting him to New York to spend New Year’s with her? How did that happen? She had panicked and then sent it before she chickened out but now she was regretting it, after all, the last time they saw each other she had clearly told him she would rather have the doubt than have him in her life and she had meant it.

She had meant every word, because she couldn’t picture a life where the thought of Damon didn’t send her heart into a race and her stomach erupting in butterflies. She couldn’t picture a life without the possibility of running away someday to him. Maybe it was the day. But would she just go to Rome with him? Would he come to New York? They still lived on opposite sides of the world.

Why was everything against them? Would that be a sign?

As soon as she thought that she got an email: a response from Damon. Her heart started stammering even quicker and she had to calm herself before she read it. Why was she like a schoolgirl getting a DM from their crush?

“Hey Bon-bon, merry christmas as well. Maybe I could go, only if you spend New Years Eve with me.

Much love, your Damon.”

An enormous smile parted her face and the butterflies came again, he was willing to come to the other side of the world to see her.

“I’d be honored to.”

“Where will the husband be?”

“Don’t know. Don’t care. either.”

“Well, witchy. I’m going to need to hear that story”

“Maybe after the gallery showcase, we could talk about that.”

“Maybe. See you there, then.”

And just like that, Bonnie had three weeks to freak out about the showcase and seeing Damon again… and somehow convince him that she wanted to try for real this time. 

The week leading up to the showcase felt as fast as it felt long. Everyday seemed to go in a blur and yet, everytime she looked at the time in the clock it seemed like it hadn’t moved. The anxiety was killing her, she had gone to get her nails done two days before the exhibition and ruined them almost instantly because of her nerves. 

“Today’s the day! How’re you feeling?” asked Tyler from the door of her room, watching her getting ready.

“Nervous, like I’m going to throw up.”

“Now does that have to do with the exhibition or a certain guy coming to see you?”

She kind of regretted getting drunk and spilling her guts to her friend, but he had also helped giving her advice, even though it was kind of weird since he was also still friends with Jeremy.

“Both… I’m worried about what people will think about them, if they’ll like them enough that I can start a career out of it… and I’m worried that he won’t come.”

“Why?”

“Because… I don’t know. It feels too good to be true, I guess? It’s gotta be one or the other, it can’t be the perfect night.”

“Why not?”

“Because that’s just not what happens in real life, there’s always disappointment and he’d be travelling to the other side of the world for someone that rejected him. For someone that left him, I just don’t think… I don’t know. I guess I’ll always believe that we’ll be dancing around each other, until we stop.”

“Have some faith, okay?”

“I’ll think about it.” she smiled and finished with her make-up, she had to go supervise everything went smoothly before putting on her dress, so she carried it to the venue. 

Her stomach was just knots, so there was no use trying to put some food in it, water would have to do. 

After a few hours of preparations and putting on her outfit, her hands were still clammy and sweaty and the people were starting to arrive at the show, some seemed to really like the photos, which dissipated some of her nerves, but everytime she saw the door open she looked at it hoping Damon would come through. Everytime, he didn’t. The feeling kept growing, he wasn’t going to show up. 

“Hey miss, you are the artist, right?” someone asked behind her and she turned around, were a pretty blonde girl was holding a glass of champagne.

“Yeah, did you like any?”

“Yes, I’m very interested in this one.” She pointed at one of the Italy ones, the exhibition was separated by countries and the Italy one had the most recurrent models, usually Stefan and Damon. This one had only Stefan, laughing while sitting on a sidewalk. It wasn’t one of her best, but it certainly showed joy.

“Did you like the model?” she asked, trying to be cheeky and the blonde got a little flustered.

“Am I that transparent?”

“He’s a good looking dude for sure.”

“Was he a stranger? How did you get him in so many pictures?”

“He’s a friend of mine, actually. He lives in Italy so, he ended up modelling in many of the pictures.”

“And the other guy?”

“What about him?” She knew that her attitude had closed off as soon as she mentioned him, but she was pretty on edge waiting for him.

“There seems to be a story there.”

“Maybe.”

The two girls looked at the picture in front of them, of the two brothers pushing each other, looking playful and sexy as hell. She missed them.

“Are any of your models coming tonight?”

“I don’t know. I invited them both, but they live really far away.”

“I would totally travel to see myself in big pictures like these.”

“You would.” said a masculine voice behind them, Bonnie turned around and saw Stefan, smiling at her and she couldn’t help but to jump to his arms and hug him tightly.

“Stefan! I’ve missed you!”

“So have I.” He let her go and smiled at her, “These look amazing, Bonnie.”

“You’re just saying that because you’re in them” she responded smiling, happy to see her friend.

“I’m not in all of them, although I am partial to the ones I’m in.”

“You would.” Fired back the blonde, who Bonnie had totally forgotten about. She smiled at her and extended her hand, “I’m Caroline, Stefan’s girlfriend.”

“Bonnie, nice to meet you.” She looked at both of them, still pretty dumbstruck. “I can’t believe you guys travelled here right before New Years to see my exhibition.”

“Well, it wasn’t just because of that. We wanted to spend it here, Care’s daughters wanted to come spend the New Years with their dad, so it all worked out great.”

“Oh my God, that’s right! Ric told me about you.”

“Why?” said Caroline with a frown.

“We were talking about marriage and life, you know.”

“Oh. I didn’t know you guys knew each other.”

“We met like two months ago, when Damon came…” she looked at Stefan, who looked at the picture again. “Is he coming?”

“I said I would, didn’t I” his voice came from her side and her head snapped so quickly towards him, she had a bit of trouble focusing her eyes on him. Maybe because of that and the lack of food. “Hi, witchy”, he said with his regular smirk, even though this seemed a bit more shy.

“Hey”, she whispered, feeling her heart beating so fast she could swear she could hear it.

“I told you it would be a success.”

“I’m not sure it is, but you came, so… maybe it is.”

“Oh, so this was an elaborate ruse to make me come here?” he asked, lifting his left brow and then he whispered close to her ear, “you just had to ask, Bon-bon.”

“It would've been too easy” she joked, trying to steel herself.

“I am an easy guy, after all.”

“That’s true.”

He smiled and so did she, feeling like there was no one around them, like they were inside a bubble that could easily be popped.

So she popped it instead.

“Have you seen all the pictures?”

“Not in a few years, do you want to show me each of them?” he asked, offering his arm to escort her.

“Why not?”

“I mean, I am the star of the show.”

“No, you’re not.”

She relaxed after a while of walking around, showing him the show and explaining where she took some that he forgot about or never saw before. There wasn’t a big crowd of people, but the place had some walking around, she even sold many of them, some were bought by Stefan and Caroline, but she wasn’t complaining.

“So, why did you decide to finally do it?”

“I…” she didn’t know where to start, when he left? The month after? When she finally decided to do it, after many many days of pondering? “I just saw my life one day and decided I needed to stop doubting so much.”

“Is that when you divorced the idiot?”

“How do you know I’m divorced?”

“No ring and the Bennet last name.”

“Clever.” she smiled, because it had taken him a while to say anything and she thanked him internally, she needed to relax before telling him everything. “Yes, well, kind of? We had been living in separate places for a month, I could use the money of being a full time photographer and the doubts didn’t seem as appealing.”

“Is that why you invited me?”

They stopped walking, in the middle of the venue and she could feel warmth starting to cover her neck and cheeks. She needed to be brave, this was the time.

“Yes.”

He blinked and sighed and for the first time since he arrived she could see vulnerability in his eyes.

“Are you sure? Because I’ll kiss you and then I’m not letting you go.” He was dead serious and she was so happy she could explode.

“A hundred percent.”

“Okay.” He said before putting his hands in each side of her face and kissing her like no one ever had, there was passion, and longing, and sadness and love and joy and hope. All of it in that kiss, and she responded pulling him closer, kissing him with all of herself, all of her doubts, her fears, her hopes, her desires, her dreams, her love.

“I’m sorry” she whispered when they separated and he kissed her forehead and then put his on it. 

“I’m sorry, too.”

“We’re also sorry to interrupt, but people are staring.” said Stefan behind them and they pulled away instantly. She tried to fix her lip gloss, but it was a lost cause and Damon kissed her hand and then took it.

“You look beautiful, Bonnie. It’s fine.”

“You’re clearly blinded by love, here honey, have a napkin.” said Caroline with a complicit smile.

“Thank you.”

After the show they all went together to the hotel they were staying at and Damon and Bonnie finally had some very overdue alone time. 

“Hey Damon” she called, laying on top of his chest, sprawling naked.

“Yes, Bon-bon?”

“How are we going to do this?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean… We still live in different places.”

“You know we both work in stuff that can be done from anywhere. We could actually not live anywhere.”

“What do you mean? We need a place to live.”

“Don’t you need material for a different exhibition?”

“Yes…”

“I have to stay in New York until the fifteenth and then, I have three free months before I have to start doing publicity for the book. We could go to Latin America, or Asia or Australia… Anywhere you feel like would be a good place to take pictures.”

“Really? You’d just go travel with me?”

“I’d go anywhere with you. And it’d be fun, I may even get inspired and write. Who knows.”

“I know we’ve only been officially… well, not officially, but together for like a couple of hours, but... I love you.”

He smiled and kissed her temple before saying, “Bonnie Bennet, would you be my girlfriend?”

“Yes.” she answered with the biggest smile.

“I love you too” he said before kissing her and starting another session of love making.

* * *

Latin America was great, they travelled through every country and Bonnie took great pictures, either with him by her side or alone. Some days he went with her to wherever she wanted to take photos, and other times he’d stay in the hotel to work on a new book. Sometimes they’d meet for launch, sometimes for trekking, sometimes to do fun activities and sometimes they wouldn’t see much of each other, but they liked this dynamic. Or at least that’s what he told himself. She had just ended a marriage, he knew she didn’t want someone pestering him.

When the trip ended, they decided to go to Italy, since he had a place there and Bonnie had sold all of her stuff for the travelling and had nowhere to stay in New York.

His house was spacious and had a nice backyard where she’d like to do stuff at. They caught up with his friends and some people that Bonnie knew, but she was careful to let him know that he could go out on his own. He rarely did, though.

Then one day, Stefan called her and he really didn’t want to eavesdrop, but she put it on speaker why editing in the backyard. 

“Hey Bonnie, how’s everything going?”

“Great, I’m working on editing some pictures right now. And you? How’s Caroline?”

“She’s great, she actually wanted to know if you and Damon wanted to come have dinner with us.”

“When?”

“Tomorrow.”

“I’d love to, but I’ll have to ask Damon. You know how he always has plans with everyone.”

He could listen the fondness in her voice, but there was something else there that he couldn’t really put a finger on.

“Yeah… I thought he would slow down with you here, you know, he used to go out as much as an excuse to forget about his heartache, but he doesn’t need it anymore. Guess it’s just a habit now.”

His brother, always saying more than he should. He was going to have to have a word with him.

“Yeah… I guess. He was always a social butterfly though.”

“Yeah, but he slowed down when he met you.”

“Not for long, though.”

“Yeah… well, see you tomorrow then, maybe.”

She smiled and said, “Yes, see you, maybe” before hanging up and suddenly her hands weren’t on the laptop and her eyes seemed far away. Great, he had gotten into her head.

“Hey witchy, who was that?” he said before kissing her cheek and sitting by her side in the sofa.

“Your brother, he wanted to invite over for dinner tomorrow.” she responded with an air of aloofness still. 

“What did you say?”

“That I’d ask you, since your schedule is always so full.”

“Is that a complaint? You know I’d clear it for you.” He said with a wink and something about that seemed to make her mad. Wrong move.

“I thought that’d be something you’d do on your own, not something I’d have to ask.”

He was taken aback by how angry she sounded, he thought Stefan had spoken too much, but it did seem to be something that had crossed her mind before. “Why didn’t you say something? I thought we were on the same page.”

“What page, Damon?”

“I thought you wanted some space to do your stuff.”

“Why would I want space, Damon? We spent five years apart, I thought that was enough.”

“Then why didn’t you say so?” he was trying to be patient but his own insecurities and anger was slipping through. 

“Because I didn’t realize I had to tell you I wanted to spend time with you.”

“I’m sorry for thinking that since you had just wanted a divorce you wanted to take things slow.”

“When did I give you that impression?”

“When I went to New York and you kept saying that you loved him so you wouldn’t leave him, I thought that meant that you would be sad when you finally did.”

“You could’ve asked.”

“So could’ve you!”

“About what?”

“You could’ve said you wanted to spend more time together.”

“This is the exact reason why we broke up the first time, you didn’t have time for me I thought that’s how it would be.”

Okay, that hurt. “Oh and you just would’ve settled for that? I mean, I shouldn’t be surprised, you settled for him five years ago.”

“Damon.” she warned.

“What?” He knew he was screwing everything up, but it was like he couldn’t stop himself. 

“You don’t want to go there.”

“I do, actually. I want to know why you think it’s alright to settle.”

“Because I didn’t want to have this fight.”

“We’re not fighting.”

“Yes, we are.”

“Fine” he said, throwing his hands in the air, “then let’s fight. Why did you marry that idiot?”

“Why did you let me marry that idiot?”

“Because you left me!” He screamed, finally letting her see how much she had hurt him.

“You didn’t want me here in the first place!” She screamed back, hurt and anger all over her face, “You were always with your friends, ditching me to see them!”

“We weren’t together back then!”

“But we are now and you’re doing the exact same thing!”

“That’s not true and you know it.”

“What I know is that you’re still the same immature guy who’d spend his nights with me and his days with his friends just to seem cool to them.” 

They were face to face, too close for her not to see how she had hurt him, he knew that so he struck back.

“And you’re still the girl running away from her problems, when things got hard you always ran. That’s why you’re here, actually. You divorced not because you were on a sham of marriage, but because he cheated on you.”

“If that’s what you really think of me then maybe this is a sham of a relationship.”

She stood up with her laptop and walked away from him, but he wasn’t done. He had a need for blood.

“Maybe we are! Maybe we shouldn’t be in one!” he screamed at her back, but she didn’t answer.

The only thing he got from her was her slamming the door of the guest room. Great.

He was fuming, it was five in the afternoon and he wanted nothing more than to go have a drink and vent to a friend, but he was scared that Bonnie would leave, as much shit as he had talked he couldn’t lose her again.

And with that thought all of his anger dissipated and sadness took over, because he really couldn’t lose her again but here he was, pushing her away because he was afraid that she’d hurt him again.

He opened a bottle of wine and drank for a couple of hours. He cried too and wished she was there to see how destroyed he was. He could almost listen how she’d call him a “drama queen” right now and that brought a smile to his face. And then a tear.

He couldn’t take it anymore, so he went to the guest room and started to knock on the door.

“Leave me alone” she said with a raspy voice, she was probably crying as well and he felt like an asshole all over again.

“Bonnie, we need to talk.”

“You’re drunk. Leave me alone.”

I can’t, he wanted to say, but he didn’t want to sound so desperate or obsessed, so he just stayed there, outside her door for a few minutes. Then, he remembered she hadn’t eaten in a few hours, so he went to the kitchen to make her a sandwich with provolone and prosciutto, it was her favorite. 

He knocked the door again and before she could kick him out he said, “I’ll leave you a sandwich and leave. I promise. I just want you to eat something.”

He left the plate on the floor, plus a bottle of water and then went to sit in the backyard to have a cigarette. He wanted for her to feel comfortable leaving the room. 

He stayed there for another few hours, looking at the sky turn to pink and then darken and he wished to the first star he saw that he could make things better, he didn’t want to hurt her again, he didn’t want to be hurt again, he just wanted to be with her.

He wished he’d known before that she wanted to be with him more, because it was all he wanted, honestly, he was just keeping his distance for her benefit.

That may be a lie, though. He was scared that she’d leave again, so he didn’t want to get too attached until he was certain that she’d stay. Honestly, he didn’t realize he had been doing that, but deep down he knew. He was fucked up and he fucked up their relationship, as usual.

When his limbs started to weigh, he stood up and went to the guest room, the plate was outside, empty. He went for a glass of water and a painkiller, because she didn’t deserve to feel like shit tomorrow because of him. He knocked on the door but she didn’t respond, so he took his chances and opened it. 

She was sleeping on top of the bed, her face was red and there were a lot of used tissues around her, he hated himself all over again.

He left the glass and pill on the bedside table, put a blanket on top of her and left. He couldn’t sleep on his bed without her, not anymore, so he decided to stay in the living room, he needed to punish himself for this and what better than not sleeping? Or maybe doing it for a couple of hours on a sofa.

He fell asleep promising himself he’d make it up to her. He had to, he couldn’t see her go again. He wouldn’t.

* * *

Bonnie woke up alone in her bed, there was a hollow in her chest and her head hurt, she had cried a lot the night before and there wasn’t much hope for her not to cry today, either. But then she opened her eyes and she saw a glass of water on the bedside table and something that looked like an advil. She took it and drank the whole glass and she realized there was a note under the glass.

“I’m sorry about yesterday, I’m making it up to you with pancakes in the kitchen.

Love, Damon.”

She bit her lip, she knew she had made a mistake by coming to the other bed to sleep, you should always talk before you go to sleep kind of thing, but she was hurt and he knew he hurt her, so he was making amends, but did she want to be petty and wait for him to come look for her or was she going to be mature and try to talk this out?

She could listen to the music coming from the kitchen and honestly, it had been so hard to sleep without him by her side, one single night apart and she already missed him. She wanted for this to work, she wanted to be mature.

So, she looked at herself in the mirror and she was a mess, as expected, but she tried to make herself look more presentable before coming to see him. 

He was cooking with his back to her so she sat on the kitchen island and made sure to make some noise so he would notice.

“Good morning.” he said, putting a plate with pancakes and cream in front of her.

“Good morning.” she whispered.

“You look like shit.” he said looking at her face and she looked at him, and sure, she looked awful but his pale skin was less forgiving than hers. His eyes were bloodshot, his under eyes looked puffy, purple and red and his face lacked any glow it usually had. 

“So do you.”

“Shitty night for us both.”

“Yes.”

They stared at each other for a while, seeing who would break before and as she wanted and expected, it was him.

“I’m sorry, Bonnie. I… was mad and I said things I shouldn’t have…”

“Things you wanted to say, though.”

“Yeah… I was hurtful on purpose, I… I guess I felt like I had hurt for so long that you deserved some of it too.”

“I was hurting too.”

“I know, but you were married.”

“Yeah, I get it.”

“No, you don’t.” he sighed and then put his face on his hands. “I thought I had time to go after you, to explain myself, I took two weeks to come to terms with my issues and then tell you about them and then Stefan showed me a facebook post of yours with an engagement ring. I was mad, I wrecked my room and I hated you Bonnie.” He finally looked up again, his eyes lost in the past,” I tried to erase your existence from my mind and I started fucking around, seeing girl after girl and when that didn’t work to get you out of my mind, I got myself a girlfriend. Someone opposite from you, a free spirited tall girl. I thought I forgot about you for a bit and then I responded to your emails, went to New York and saw you and I fell back into this pit of shame and sadness I used to be in… So I stopped the emails, I went to New York with a girl and didn’t look for you, I erased and restored your pictures almost monthly from my laptop…”

“What changed?”

“What?” he asked, finally focusing his eyes on her.

“Why did you look for me last year?”

“Because I couldn’t stand it anymore. It was a gamble, honestly. If you were there then I’d see you, if not, then not. I thought I’d have to go into the building but you were outside, it felt like a sign. I went telling myself that I wanted to be sure that I was over you… but then I wasn’t and I kind of knew that already… I was just a mess.”

“You still are.” she said with a small smile and then squeezed his hand on top of the island.

“Yeah. I’m sorry.” He seemed a bit more relaxed after saying all of that and she knew that this was it, she had to let it all out so they could actually start anew.

“When I left Rome… I was so mad at you, Damon. You said we weren’t together and you were right, you didn’t have any obligation to hang out with me or go anywhere with me, really. We were just hanging out while I was in Rome and I was losing sight of that. I reconciled with that and bought my ticket to go back, because I wasn’t supposed to stay in Rome... you were right.”

“It was just a defense mechanism. I was afraid because I had fallen for you and I knew that you were going to leave eventually, I didn’t want to be the one that stayed behind crying over what could’ve been. Played myself there.”

“I thought I was the only one that caught feelings. I mean, I knew I was more for you than just sex, but I didn’t think you cared as much as I did. You were the one that said our arrangement was perfect because I was leaving eventually and you don’t do well with long term relationships.”

“I was being an asshole with commitment issues. That’s all.”

“But, why? You said you were working on them when I left… what happened?”

“When I was young I had a girlfriend who was the daughter of my parent’s friends. We grew up seeing each other and they always said we’d end up together, everyone said we’d get married one day and I… I just believed it, so, when we were old enough we started dating and everyone was happy and four months into the relationship, my parents died and…” he tensed, she still had her hand on his, so she enveloped it with both her hands and started caressing it. “I was eighteen, so I wasn’t the most mature and she didn’t know how to deal with a depressed boyfriend, so she broke up with me like a month after they died.”

“Oh my God… what a bitch.”

“Right?” he smiled sadly and she put some hair out of his face, he closed his eyes and sighed. “Thing is, it felt like everything came crashing down, all my life was planned in my head and suddenly there was nothing left.”

They were in silence for a while, she could only caress him, to help him feel better, but she knew that he needed to say this, to let this go.

“I understand.”

“When you said you’d leave, it made me feel like I was just one item off your bucket list ‘fucking an european’ check, like you didn’t care about me specifically, I was an idiot so I just let you go… it took me a while to realize I was fucking it all up.”

“I looked at the airport doors the whole time I was waiting for my plane…” she smiled sadly and he frown, sad too that they made so many mistakes, “I hoped you’d come and tell me you loved me like in the movies and when you didn’t and you didn’t add me in Facebook later, I realized that I wasn’t that important to you”

“You were.”

“I didn’t know that. When we saw each other again and I was already married… the way you looked at me, that’s when I realized I wasn’t the only one that still felt something.”

“I also made it clear that I was hoping you were getting a divorce soon.”

“Yeah, but I thought you were joking.” she smiled, rolling her eyes and he kissed her hand.

“How come we can be so honest with each other but never were about this before?”

“Fear? We were young and we lived in different countries, it’s not like I could’ve just moved to Rome.”

“I wanted you to.”

“I didn’t know that, because you were not really spending that much time with me when I left.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright, we both screwed up.”

He walked around the island and hugged her, tightly, making her feel safe again. She pulled back and kissed him with everything she had, wanting to let him know that this time she was all in.

“I love you, Bonnie Bennet.”

“And I love you, Damon Salvatore.”

“You know what? I really like your last name. It’s a good thing that people don’t change their last names when getting married in Italy.”

She looked at him, surprised and curious, was he serious?

He smiled, all bravado but she could see he was flustered by the sheer tint of red in his cheeks.

“I really like Italy. A wedding here would be beautiful.”

“I agree”

She smiled and they kissed again, he knew she wasn’t ready to get married again so soon after divorcing, but it was his way of showing her that he was in this relationship for the long run, no longer scared of commitment.

And maybe a couple of years they could get married and have a kid, maybe two and they’d tell them their love story, from the very first day they met at a train station, until the day they finally got their shit together and decided to love each other forever. She had a good feeling about that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you guys liked it? I'd love to read your comments! I wanna say that I loved writing this Damon, he's such a drama queen and, honestly, he is already one in the show, but writers are usually dramatic so I wanted to up it a bit.  
> I couldn't write it before christmas so, no christmas chapter, sorry. Also, I felt like it couldn't end with them just getting together, we needed to see how they'd work through it, you know?  
> Anyway, hopefully what came out is good and you liked it, that's all that matters.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! Hope you guys liked it, I felt like writing Bamon again because I saw an unfinished fic of mine and read it and got all the feels for them. Don't know if this fandom is still alive, or if anyone read it, but, if you did please tell me what you think, this chapter was based on the movie Last night, even thought it follows two pairings, I only made one because Jeremy isn't as interesting and it felt weird to make her feel not much towards Enzo, so, this is how I decided to make it. The movie ends with an open ending, but I think these two deserve as many happy endings as they can get, so, I'm writing a second chapter for this, probably it's going to be christmass themed and maybe up before christmass, although I'm not sure. Anyways, I've rambled enough. Hope you like it, tell me if you did and if I can't upload before it, happy holidays!


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